INT. – HOUSE – DAY
“What’s the Matter” by Milo Greene plays.
Blood is splattered over the walls and furnishings. A body with a badly wounded leg lies on the ground and another body is covered with a sheet.
♪ Oh ♪
♪ What's the matter? ♪
♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪
♪ What's the matter? ♪
♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪
SAM and DEAN enter, guns drawn.
♪ Oh, your love is never good enough ♪
SAM checks the body under the sheet and DEAN goes upstairs.
♪ Oh, your love is lost on me ♪
DEAN removes an iPod from its docking station, stopping the music.
DEAN
Rest of the place is clear.
SAM
Yeah. Uh... no ID on this one. Um... and no clue who is painted on the walls.
DEAN
Well, whatever happened, looks like we missed it.
SAM
Yeah. Great. Wait a second.
SAM points to a half-open laptop with a post-it note that says “Play me” stuck to the lid.
DEAN
What the hell?
DEAN fully opens the lid of the laptop, and he and SAM sit down in front of it. DEAN clicks on an icon that says “Play Me.” An application opens and “This should never have ended this way” appears on the screen.
SUPERNATURAL (Title Card)
ACT ONE
[In a departure from the usual format, the credits are not shown at the start of Act One.]
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
SAM and DEAN are sitting in front of the laptop. The screen still reads “This should never have ended this way.” The screen goes blank and the camera zooms in on the screen.
MAN 1 (V-O)
Hey, Christopher Nolan.
MAN 2 (V-O)
Yeah?
MAN 1 (V-O)
Lens cap.
MAN 2 (V-O)
Oh…
INT. – CAFÉ – DAY
Through a hand-held camera, we see a young man (MICHAEL - MAN 1) sitting at a table in a café. The camera then turns on the face of a second young man (BRIAN - MAN 2), who appears to be holding the camera.
BRIAN
…crap. Damn.
BRIAN points the camera back at MICHAEL.
MICHAEL
Strong work, genius.
BRIAN
Dude, I have no idea what to make this movie about. And I'm, like – I'm A/V Club President, so, you know, it's got to be good.
MICHAEL
Here. Give me that.
The screen goes black for a moment as MICHAEL grabs the camera. He then points the camera at BRIAN.
MICHAEL
I'll tell you what...
BRIAN
You're gonna make it?
MICHAEL
...you're gonna make it about.
BRIAN
Okay.
MICHAEL points the camera at himself.
MICHAEL
In a world where nothing is what it seems... [BRIAN laughs] ...one brave, shockingly handsome, virile young man [He points the camera at BRIAN] and his faithful, learning-disabled...
BRIAN
Oh, no.
MICHAEL
... robotic manservant must battle through waves [He points the camera at other male students in the café] of cybernetic asshats in order to sexually liberate [He points the camera at a group of female students] the women of –
BRIAN
[smiling] Okay. Give me that. Give me that.
MICHAEL
Oh, please. I bet at least one of these girls would let you partake in their awkward-guy experimental phase.
BRIAN
What? These girls?
MICHAEL
Yep.
BRIAN
Okay. [He zooms the camera in on the female students.] Hashtag fails. [He moves the focus from one girl to another.] Homeschooled. Secretly in love with her roommate. Listens to country music. Oh, dude, dude. 12:00, blonde. Wait. [The blonde girl, KATE, gets up.] Is she – oh, crap, crap. Dude, take it, take it. Just take it.
MICHAEL
[quietly] I don't want to take it.
KATE walks over to BRIAN and MICHAEL. MICHAEL is holding the camera.
KATE
Were you just filming me?
MICHAEL
No. Uh, I wouldn't do that.
KATE is holding another camera and filming MICHAEL.
KATE
Does it have the new firmware?
MICHAEL
Uh, yes. Yes, it does.
KATE
How's it handle?
MICHAEL and KATE exchange cameras.
MICHAEL
You tell me.
KATE
Well, your settings are way off.
BRIAN
Oh, I-I like the way the colors – you probably don't care about that.
KATE
[filming MICHAEL] Yeah, so, you weren't checking me out?
MICHAEL
[filming KATE] Well, I do have a thing for beautiful women who respect their privacy. Uh, dick move on my part. I'm sorry.
KATE
Don't be. I have a thing for guys with cool cameras.
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
BRIAN is sitting at a desk in front of several computers. Giggling can be heard behind closed doors in another room. KATE, wearing only a T-shirt, enters and walks through to the bathroom.
INT. – CAFÉ – DAY
KATE
No, no, no. Look, it's a great movie, but of the two, I-I prefer "Last Year at Marienbad." You know?
BRIAN
Yeah. It's a classic.
BRIAN is filming KATE.
KATE
How do you like that lens?
BRIAN
It's good. Yeah, yeah. It's lighter for sure.
KATE
That's good.
BRIAN
You know, uh, Michael knows nothing about cameras, right?
KATE
Yeah. But, uh, I'm teaching him.
MICHAEL walks up to the table carrying a coffee.
MICHAEL
Teaching who?
KATE
Oh, my boyfriend. [MICHAEL sits down next to KATE.] He's, uh, big, tall, and handsome.
MICHAEL
Mm. Sounds delish.
KATE
Yeah, you should totally meet him.
MICHAEL
Yeah?
KATE
Mm-hmm.
MICHAEL and KATE kiss.
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
BRIAN is sitting at the desk.
KATE
Let's see. Five years from now? Hopefully passed the bar exam, practicing law. [BRIAN turns a camera around to film KATE and MICHAEL, who are on the sofa. MICHAEL is lying down with his head in KATE’s lap.] Nothing corporate, something, uh... something green, you know?
BRIAN
Green is good.
MICHAEL
Hippie.
KATE
Oh, shut up.
CUT TO:
KATE is filming BRIAN.
BRIAN
Oh, geez. Uh, maybe, like, working for HBO or – or, like, Michael Moore. That'd be cool.
KATE
Yeah.
MICHAEL
Double hippie.
BRIAN
Whatever.
MICHAEL
I will be on a boat in the middle of the ocean with my beautiful girl by my side.
KATE
Aww... sap.
MICHAEL
And you can come, too.
KATE
Nice. See what you just did there?
MICHAEL and KATE kiss.
INT. – COLLEGE LECTURE ROOM – DAY
PROFESSOR
...display of that, let's make sure we put our hand up first next time.
MICHAEL appears to be asleep in the audience. KATE, who is sitting in the row behind him, fondles MICHAEL’s hair.
PROFESSOR
All right, brains, let's get our pens and pencils out. It's time for notes. So, let's turn our attention to our cruelly nicknamed friend Piggy. [We see a close-up of a pin on the PROFESSOR’s jacket.] He uses his glasses to create fire, the sun dial. [A slide on the screen at the front of the room reads “Lord of the Flies, 1st Year Eng Lit.”] He's also rational. He inhabits rational thought on the island.
EXT. – COLLEGE CAMPUS – DAY
BRIAN is filming himself, MICHAEL and KATE.
MICHAEL
What'd I miss?
KATE
Just another pitch-perfect lecture from Professor Ludensky.
BRIAN
Yeah.
KATE
Do you know Simon was a Christ figure?
MICHAEL
Yeah. No. [to BRIAN] Please tell me you taped it.
BRIAN
Come on. Who loves you?
MICHAEL
Aww. I wish I could quit you.
BRIAN
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Another student, SCOTT, walks between them and knocks the camera to the ground.
KATE
Oh, hey.
MICHAEL
Watch it, asshat!
SCOTT
What'd you call me?
SCOTT’S FRIEND
Come on. Let's move. I want to see it.
BRIAN
[Looking at the camera] Oh, man.
CUT TO:
MICHAEL, KATE and BRIAN are walking. We hear police sirens.
BRIAN
Hey, can you shoot some of this for my movie?
KATE
Is that legal?
MICHAEL
Who cares?
A body covered with a bloodstained sheet lies behind a police line. The IMPALA pulls up.
BRIAN
Yeah, that's not good.
KATE
Someone got murdered on campus? You guys live two blocks from here.
SAM and DEAN, dressed in suits, get out of the IMPALA.
BRIAN
Look, look, look. Starsky and Hutch. [He laughs.]
MICHAEL
Rizzoli and Isles.
SAM
Special Agent Rose, and this is Special Agent Hudson. [SAM and DEAN show their badges.]
DETECTIVE
What the hell are you guys doing here?
DEAN
Our jobs. You want to tell us what's going on?
DETECTIVE
Whatever you say, boss. Got a call from a woman that lives upstairs. Said, uh, she heard an attack, came down, found her neighbor here. Jacob Carter.
BRIAN
Who'd he say?
KATE
Uh, Jacob Carter? I don't know.
SAM
Well, is the witness still home?
DETECTIVE
Sure is. She's not the most reliable type. She said she heard some kind of growl, like there was a coyote down here.
DEAN
Awesome.
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
KATE is on the sofa filming with the camera.
KATE
So, the FBI is here. Your neighbor got murdered, but you're totally cool.
BRIAN
No. It's not – it's not that I'm cool. It's just that, like... [He comes out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth, holding another camera.] I mean, then it's good that the FBI are here, right?
KATE
That – that is so annoyingly logical.
MICHAEL
Hey, baby. Listen.
MICHAEL puts an iPod into a docking station. “What’s the Matter” by Milo Greene plays.
♪ Oh, your love is lost on me ♪
KATE
Oh. It's pretty. What is it?
MICHAEL
It's the song that was playing when we first met.
♪ What's the matter? ♪
KATE
Aww. You are so disgustingly sweet.
♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪
MICHAEL and KATE kiss.
BRIAN
You ready?
MICHAEL
Yeah.
BRIAN
Cool.
MICHAEL
I got to go.
♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪
KATE
What? So, you just foam the runway with our song and then you got to head out the door?
MICHAEL
[filming KATE with a camera] I promised I'd help him test the new cameras.
KATE
Don't give me that crap. I know you two idiots are gonna go shoot cut scenes for "Jackass."
MICHAEL
Come on. We both know he has nobody else to do this with. Rain check.
KATE
Whatever. You're dead to me.
MICHAEL and KATE kiss.
♪ Oh, your love is lost on me ♪
EXT. – COLLEGE CAMPUS – NIGHT
MICHAEL and BRIAN are filming near a sports field.
MICHAEL
Do something cool.
BRIAN
Dude, this tree is awesome. Hang on. [He climbs up into the tree.] Maybe I could – maybe I could... get upside down and –
MICHAEL
No, no, I said cool.
BRIAN
Ha ha.
MICHAEL
This is stupid.
BRIAN
Can you get – can you see me? Gonna try and get – is this cool? [He hangs upside down.] 'Cause, man, it feels pretty cool.
MICHAEL
It's like "Dumb & Dumber 3." Ha ha ha. Okay.
BRIAN
Wait, dude, dude, dude, dude.
SAM and DEAN, in their FBI suits, are interviewing a couple on the street nearby.
MICHAEL
What?
BRIAN
Turn around. Turn around.
MICHAEL
What?
BRIAN
Turn. It's those FBI guys.
MICHAEL
What?
BRIAN
Help – help me down this tree. Help me out of the tree.
SAM
Oh, all right. Well, thank you, guys, very much for your help. You're free to go.
The couple leaves and MICHAEL or BRIAN’s camera zooms in on SAM and DEAN.
SAM
All right. There is not a case here.
DEAN
There is a case here. You're rusty. We just got to dig a little deeper. Come on.
DEAN walks towards the IMPALA and after a moment SAM follows him.
BRIAN
Dude, it's so crazy.
MICHAEL
Is it just me or are you getting a workplace-romance vibe from those two?
BRIAN
Let's go.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
MICHAEL and BRIAN walk along the outside of the sports field. Two people are kissing near the bleachers.
MICHAEL
Come here, come here. Look, look, look, look, look, look.
BRIAN
[whispering] What? [He sees the people kissing. One of them is SCOTT, who knocked into them earlier.] Oh, no. Yes.
MICHAEL
D-bags mating in the wild. [They laugh.]
BRIAN
Okay, go, go, go, go, go.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
They move closer and keep filming. The GIRL whom SCOTT is kissing pushes his arms away.
GIRL
Oh! Stop. Stop! [She shoves him and leaves.]
SCOTT
Hey!
BRIAN
Oh, ho, ho. Strike three.
SCOTT
Come on!
BRIAN
You're a dick.
SCOTT
What's your problem?!
BRIAN
This is gonna look great on YouTube.
BRIAN drops his camera.
BRIAN
Oh. Oh, crap.
MICHAEL
Oh, crap.
SCOTT
Hey! What the hell?!
BRIAN
Oh, crap, crap. Oh, God. [He runs and the SCOTT runs after him.]
MICHAEL
Hey, Brian, Brian! Meet me at Scott's mother's house! [The SCOTT turns and runs after MICHAEL instead.] Oh, God.
SCOTT
Oh, come on. I paid her fair and square, man!
MICHAEL runs down a park path. He turns his camera on himself, breathing heavily.
MICHAEL
[into the camera] Thanks for a great night out, Bri.
A growling noise comes from the trees.
MICHAEL
Hello? Hello? Scott, cut it out, man! [There is more growling.] Oh, God. Oh, God. [He screams and climbs a tree. There is more growling and more screaming.]
BRIAN
Hey, Michael. You can come out now, dude. Scott looked for us for a while but bailed. [He finds MICHAEL’s camera on the ground.] Mike? [He hears heavy breathing nearby.] Mike? [He finds MICHAEL lying on the ground.] Dude. Oh, my God. Dude. Michael. You okay, man?
MICHAEL
I'm okay.
BRIAN
What happened?
MICHAEL
I don't know. I don't know. [He has a shoulder wound.]
BRIAN
Oh, God.
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
BRIAN
Kate!
BRIAN helps MICHAEL onto the sofa.
KATE
Oh, my God! Baby, baby, baby, baby!
BRIAN
Something bit Michael.
KATE
Oh baby. Okay.
BRIAN
Oh, my God.
MICHAEL
What is it? Is it bad? Brian. Kate. Is it bad?
BRIAN
The bite – the bite's gone.
KATE phones for help.
WOMAN’S VOICE ON PHONE
911. What's your emergency?
KATE
Did – did you dicks just punk me?
WOMAN’S VOICE ON PHONE
Is anybody there? Hello?
KATE hangs up.
BRIAN
It's completely gone.
KATE
Baby, it's okay. Hey, hey, hey. Honey, it's okay. It's okay. Babe.
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
BRIAN and KATE are sitting at the table.
BRIAN
[whispering] The doctor said he's gonna be fine. You heard him. Literally not a scratch on the kid.
BRIAN is asleep on the sofa.
KATE
If anything happens to Michael, I-I don't know what I would do.
BRIAN
Shh. It's okay.
MICHAEL wakes. BRIAN and KATE put their heads down on the table and pretend to be asleep. MICHAEL walks through the room to the bathroom and pulls the door off its hinges. BRIAN and KATE jump.
KATE
What? Baby.
MICHAEL
Uh...
BRIAN
Did you just pull that off?
KATE
Whoa. Whoa.
BRIAN films MICHAEL holding something over his head and laughing.
BRIAN
Okay. Okay, okay. Now – now one-handed.
The camera pans out and we see that he is holding KATE horizontally over his head, now with one hand. KATE giggles and shrieks.
BRIAN
Oh, my God!
MICHAEL
Stay still, stay still, stay still.
BRIAN
Dude, whoa!
MICHAEL drops KATE into his arms and they laugh and kiss.
CUT TO:
BRIAN is using a computer.
KATE
Maybe you got bit by an alien. That would explain the FBI.
BRIAN
Or maybe a mutant bit you.
MICHAEL
Am I a superhero now?
KATE
Baby.
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
BRIAN appears to be setting up equipment in various places in the house.
KATE
What are you doing?
BRIAN
What do you think I'm doing? I finally found my movie.
KATE
What? Michael? Michael is not your movie. We don't even know what happened to him.
BRIAN
Exactly. I'm gonna get Michael's origin story on-camera.
CUT TO:
MICHAEL is sitting at the kitchen table putting peanut butter on a bagel.
MICHAEL
You're kind of creeping me out, man. Seriously, nothing superheroic to see here. Just a delicious bagel.
BRIAN
Hey, man, I have this idea. It's gonna sound really weird, but don't laugh, okay?
MICHAEL
No promises.
BRIAN
I, um... I really want to be able to do what you do. So I-I think maybe we could go back out there and get that thing to bite me, and then we could both be superheroes.
MICHAEL
Stop! What? Are you serious?
BRIAN
Michael, you can't keep this to yourself.
MICHAEL
Keep what to myself? We don't even know what this thing is. Why the hell would you want it?
BRIAN
Michael... I don't – I don't want to be Piggy anymore, man.
MICHAEL
You're – you're not a pig, man. Brian, listen to me. There's nothing wrong with you. You've just got to figure out what it is you want and go after it. I'm telling you – you don't want this.
BRIAN
Right, 'cause I don't want to be super-strong or have a prayer of getting any ass this year or... Please, please.
MICHAEL
No, man! No.
CUT TO:
BRIAN is using the computer at the desk. There is a knock at the door. MICHAEL and KATE are on the sofa.
MICHAEL
Not it.
KATE
Not it.
BRIAN
Children. [He goes to the front door.] Dudes, dudes, dudes. It's the FBI.
MICHAEL
What?
BRIAN
It's the FBI.
MICHAEL
No. What? Oh.
MICHAEL picks up a bong and starts to put it behind the sofa.
KATE
Baby, what are you doing?
MICHAEL runs out of the room with the bong. KATE picks up a camera. BRIAN opens the door. SAM and DEAN hold up their badges.
SAM
Hi, there.
BRIAN
Hi.
SAM
Special Agents Rose and Hudson. We wanted to ask you a few questions about the murder that occurred a few blocks from here. [KATE is filming SAM and DEAN via a window.] First off, did you know the victim, Jacob Carter?
BRIAN
Um, no, not really.
DEAN
Do you remember anything unusual about that night?
BRIAN
Not that I recall.
SAM
Right. Well, uh, heard about anyone in the neighborhood getting, uh – getting bit? Humor me.
BRIAN
No, I-I don't think so.
SAM
All right. Well, no worries. How about this? If you hear anything strange... call us. [He hands BRIAN a card.] No matter how late. [BRIAN nods.] Thanks.
BRIAN
Thank you. [He closes the door.]
DEAN
So, what do you think?
SAM
Well, based on what we've got so far, we could be dealing with another Mayan god.
DEAN
Ah, that's fantastic, 'cause the other one was such a joy.
SAM
Yeah. Campus dormitories?
DEAN
Yeah.
SAM and DEAN walk down the porch stairs towards the IMPALA.
CUT TO:
MICHAEL comes back into the main room carrying the bong.
BRIAN
The FBI are looking for what bit you. Are you an X-file?
KATE
No. He's not an X-file. Listen.
KATE plays back the film she took of SAM and DEAN.
SAM
...So far, we could be dealing with another Mayan god.
MICHAEL
I'm a golden god. [They all laugh.] I am a golden god! Ha ha, whoo!
KATE
You guys are ridiculous.
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
KATE is asleep in bed. MICHAEL gets up and goes into the bathroom. He films himself looking at his reflection in the mirror.
MICHAEL
I am a golden god. I am a god.
MICHAEL’s irises and pupils enlarge and then go back to normal.
MICHAEL
Huh?
MICHAEL groans as he develops long canine teeth. He groans again as his fingernails lengthen into claws. He growls and punches the mirror.
CUT TO:
MICHAEL returns to the bedroom and gently strokes KATE’s cheek with his clawed hand.
CUT TO:
In the kitchen, MICHAEL takes an Asian food take-out box from the fridge and eats with chopsticks at the table.
CUT TO:
More take-out containers and wrappers are on the table. MICHAEL opens a beer. He takes a bite of a burger and knocks over his beer.
CUT TO:
Even more take-out containers and wrappers litter the table and floor. MICHAEL grabs a jacket and heads for the door.
EXT. – COLLEGE CAMPUS – NIGHT
Three students are at the edge of the sports field, being filmed by a fourth.
SCOTT
What's up, BVC? [He films himself.] It's Scotty P. patrolling with the Oak Hill crew – Doug... [He points the camera at a student who holds a hockey stick] Evan... [who holds a cricket bat] Tucker [who holds a baseball bat]. See, some animal killed a local citizen, so we're out here tonight making sure these streets are safe for all you fine honeys out there, all right? Let's fan out, boys.
EVAN (?)
All right.
DOUG (?)
Let's go.
SCOTT’s camera films MICHAEL, who is carrying two full plastic bags.
SCOTT
Yo!
MICHAEL
Back off, douche-wheel. Not tonight.
SCOTT
[filming himself] Ooh. Oh. Ooh, I'm so scared. Listen...
We hear the plastic bags hit the ground and SCOTT films them.
SCOTT
What... what the...?
MICHAEL is running away down a tree-lined path.
SCOTT
Yeah, I got you now, you piece of...
SCOTT runs after MICHAEL.
SCOTT
Why don’t you come take your beating like a man?
SCOTT looks for MICHAEL among trees and bushes in a park.
SCOTT
If you won't come out and play, I'll go visit that little piece of yours. Kate? Yeah, I'll got visit Katie, show her what a real man – [He hears a strange noise.] Michael? [He hears loud breathing.] Dude, do you think this is funny?! Come on! Cut it out.
With a growl, MICHAEL bursts from some nearby foliage. He has long teeth and claws. The screen goes black as SCOTT screams.
ACT TWO
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
BRIAN and KATE are on the sofa. BRIAN is filming.
BRIAN
Can I ask you something about him? With everything that's happened, are you afraid of him?
KATE
At first, yeah. I mean, it was pretty scary. But... then, to be totally honest, it's actually been pretty hot.
BRIAN
O...M...
KATE screams as MICHAEL appears. His face and chest are covered with blood.
CUT TO:
MICHAEL is in the shower.
KATE
Baby? Just... Can you tell us what happened?
MICHAEL
I, uh – I ran into Scott. He chased me, and I think I killed him.
KATE
What? [to BRIAN] Turn it off. Off!
CUT TO:
MICHAEL is sitting on a chair in the main room with a towel around his neck. KATE paces the room. BRIAN is filming.
MICHAEL
He started talking about you, and I saw red. The next thing I remember, I was running home.
BRIAN
On the video... what were those things on your hands? Claws?
KATE
Did anybody see you?
BRIAN
Kate, you're not...
MICHAEL
No.
BRIAN
...trying to justify –
KATE
We don't know what happened, Brian. What? He can't defend himself? [She grabs the camera.] Give me that.
EXT. – PARK – DAY
KATE runs past the IMPALA and several police cars, which are parked outside a police line in the park.
OFFICER
Hey, whoa, whoa. Take it easy.
KATE films SAM and DEAN, who are behind the police line in their FBI suits.
DETECTIVE
Figured I'd see you guys again.
DEAN
Well, if you did your job right, we wouldn't be here, would we?
SAM
Easy. Uh, so, what do you got?
DETECTIVE
Vic's name was Scott Parker. [SCOTT’s body is in an open body bag on the ground.] Looks like the same thing that killed the Carter kid got Mr. Parker here.
SAM
Wait. Same thing?
DETECTIVE
Look, I-I'm only the local yokel, but this kid was shredded by an animal.
DEAN
Where's his heart?
DETECTIVE
Patrolman found it up the way there. Eaten mostly.
DEAN
Show us.
BRIAN is also filming the scene.
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
KATE enters.
KATE
Brian, wait.
MICHAEL is asleep on the sofa. BRIAN shakes him.
BRIAN
Did you eat a human heart? [MICHAEL sits up and moves away from BRIAN.] Did you?
MICHAEL
What are you talking about? [standing up] What is he talking about?
BRIAN
[grabbing MICHAEL’s arm] Scott's dead. He was shredded, and his heart's gone.
KATE
That doesn't mean that Michael –
BRIAN
What do you think happened to it? Where's his heart, Michael?
MICHAEL
I don't remember what happened.
BRIAN
[shoving MICHAEL] Don't lie to me!
KATE
Hey, Brian, calm down! Look, I mean, there's got to be an explanation for this.
BRIAN
Really?
KATE
It was... self-defense.
BRIAN
Eating a heart is self-defense? Kate, who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?
MICHAEL
[pushing BRIAN away from KATE] You need to back off.
BRIAN
Why? You gonna eat my heart, too?
MICHAEL punches BRIAN, who sails through the air and lands on the kitchen table.
KATE
Michael!
CUT TO:
MICHAEL is lying on the bed with his head in KATE’s lap.
MICHAEL
I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know who I am anymore.
KATE
You're Michael Wheeler. And you're mine, okay? You hear me?
BRIAN’s face is reflected in a mirror.
CUT TO:
BRIAN and KATE are in the main room.
BRIAN
We have to call the police.
KATE
Brian.
BRIAN films KATE.
BRIAN
Kate, how – how can you? You have to see what's really going on here. Whatever he is, it's not good – it's not good for you.
KATE
Michael didn't mean to hurt you.
BRIAN
Obviously he did, Kate.
KATE
You just don't get it, do you?
BRIAN
What? What don't I understand?
KATE
You've never been in love. [BRIAN puts down the camera.] What we need are answers.
EXT. – POLICE STATION – DAY
KATE is filming DEAN talking to a CORONER outside the police station.
KATE
I can't hear them.
MICHAEL
Seriously, Kate, what are we doing?
KATE
What are we doing? Seriously?
MICHAEL
Wait. Kate, don't.
CORONER
Cut marks on both vics are clean but have the curvature of animal claws. I don't know. I mean, maybe there's a wild animal on the loose? Biggest animal in the county is a raccoon.
DEAN
Hmm. Thank you for your time.
CORONER
You bet.
DEAN
Appreciate it. Okay.
SAM walks up to DEAN.
SAM
Hey.
DEAN
Hey.
MICHAEL
No, no.
SAM
So, what did I miss? Anything?
DEAN
Not unless you want to put an A.P.B. out on Rocky Raccoon.
SAM
Great. Um, the local police files are not online, so I had to dig through the county records. Um, 10 years ago, there was a similar unsolved murder. Check it out. [He hands DEAN a file.]
DEAN
Death by claws and, uh, lack of heart? So we're talking a –
SAM
No. Not that time of the month.
DEAN
Awesome.
SAM
Yeah.
DEAN
Time to hit the books and feed the monster. [He claps a hand to his stomach.]
CUT TO:
MICHAEL is sitting on the tailboard of an ambulance outside the police station.
KATE
They know something. We got to follow them. Michael. Come on. Michael. Geez.
There is a rustling as someone steps out from some trees.
MICHAEL
How'd you find us?
BRIAN
GPS in your phones. Duh.
MICHAEL
You know, you're starting to creep me out, man.
BRIAN
The feeling's mutual, dude.
KATE
What else can you hack into, Brian?
BRIAN
Anything.
INT. – RESTAURANT – NIGHT
We see black-and-white footage of SAM and DEAN sitting at a table reading notes and a journal.
KATE (V-O)
Test, test. Can you hear me?
CAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM RESTAURANT – NIGHT
BRIAN
Copy that. Yeah, the feed is looping to my laptop right now. Head in, make sure you're within spitting distance, and we should be in business. Um, and don't get arrested.
MICHAEL
I'll do it.
KATE
You sure?
MICHAEL
Yeah. Give me the bag.
INT. – RESTAURANT – NIGHT
MICHAEL sits down at a table near SAM and DEAN.
MICHAEL
We good?
CAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM RESTAURANT – NIGHT
BRIAN
Uh... a little left.
INT. – RESTAURANT – NIGHT
MICHAEL adjusts a camera that is filming SAM and DEAN.
MICHAEL
How's that?
A waitress brings DEAN a plate with two burgers and SAM a salad.
DEAN
Awesome. Thank you.
SAM
Thanks. Dude, two burgers?
DEAN
Hey, I didn't eat at Big P's for like a year, okay? Clear eyes and clogged arteries – can't lose.
CUT TO:
SAM and DEAN’s plates have been cleared and they are reading from large books and a journal.
DEAN
Hey, check this out. "Werewolves that are turned up to four generations from pureblood..." Think he means Alpha? [SAM gestures noncommittally.] "...are less feral and can transform before, during, and after the lunar cycle." Boom.
SAM
[reaching for the journal] Let me see that.
CAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM RESTAURANT – NIGHT
SAM (V-O)
Purebloods don't black out during the transformation. They can control themselves.
INT. – RESTAURANT – NIGHT
SAM
Some have been able to subsist off of animal hearts. So – so, what? We're hunting a-a werewolf with a pedigree?
DEAN
Awesome. Let's hope he has his papers.
SAM
Yeah, and that silver can kill him. So... what? Best in show comes here 10 years ago, ganked some poor woman. Then when the dust settles and everything's in the clear, he just sets up shop?
DEAN
Yeah, comes for the human hearts, stays for the co-eds.
SAM
Right. And then everything's wine and roses – and animal tickers – until he gets the hankering for human again.
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
MICHAEL, BRIAN and KATE are watching the footage of SAM and DEAN from the restaurant.
DEAN
Told you there was a case here. Now we just got to find it and kill it.
MICHAEL
I'm a werewolf. A werewolf.
KATE
Michael, come on. Baby, you need to calm down.
MICHAEL
Calm down? I'm a werewolf!
BRIAN
Hey, we need to find –
MICHAEL
The FBI is trying to kill me.
KATE
Shut up! Everybody, shut up, okay? First things first, those guys – those guys aren't FBI, all right? I'm pretty sure that FBI agents don't say "awesome" that much. You know? And – and they definitely don't hunt and kill college kids.
MICHAEL
Did – did they say anything else?
BRIAN
Dude, they just sat and talked about how they have been apart for a year. You were probably right about that whole office-romance thing.
MICHAEL
I'm screwed. I'm screwed.
BRIAN
Kate, come on. What are we supposed to do?
KATE
Okay, you know what? You guys, you're missing the big picture, okay? They – they don't know about you, Michael. They're looking for whoever, whatever bit you in the first place, the pureblood. That... that gives us some time... to figure it out, you know?
MICHAEL
So, what's the plan? What, eat chicken hearts for the rest of my life?
MICHAEL angrily goes into the bedroom. KATE follows him.
KATE
Michael. Baby.
KATE and MICHAEL talk indistinctly in the bedroom. BRIAN watches footage from MICHAEL’s camera in the park. He replays part of it and prints a screen capture.
BRIAN
Hey, guys. I think I found something.
KATE pulls the bedroom door closed. BRIAN grabs his keys and goes out.
EXT. – PARK – NIGHT
BRIAN searches with a flashlight. He spots a pin on the ground and sets the print of the screen capture down next to it. The screen capture is a picture of the same spot. The pin matches the one the PROFESSOR wore on his jacket. He picks up the pin and compares it to the screen capture.
INT. – PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
BRIAN opens a cupboard high on a wall in the PROFESSOR’s office. He films the items on the PROFESSOR’s desk. The PROFESSOR comes into the room.
PROFESSOR
A little early for office hours, Brian. What can I help you with?
BRIAN
I know what you are.
ACT THREE
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
KATE is crying in the bedroom. She starts packing.
CUT TO:
KATE is packing a bag in the main room. BRIAN enters.
BRIAN
Hey. What are you doing?
KATE
We're leaving in the morning.
BRIAN
What? Why?
KATE
Those guys – look, they might find Michael, and –
BRIAN
No, Kate, you don't have to worry about that. You don't have to worry about anything. I took care of it.
MICHAEL
You took care of what?
KATE
Brian, what did you do?
INT. – PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY
BRIAN holds up the pin and laughs.
BRIAN
I know what you are. [He films the PROFESSOR with his camera.]
PROFESSOR
Yeah, I'm your professor. And thanks. I've been looking for that. Where'd you find it?
BRIAN
Where you left it... after you bit my friend.
PROFESSOR
I'm sorry. What are you –
BRIAN
Stop, stop, stop. Stop trying to cover. Just listen to me very carefully. I'm filming all this. And I've got a hidden camera in here, too. It's feeding back to my laptop at home, so if anything happens to me –
PROFESSOR
Nothing is going to happen to you, Brian. But you know what? You need to calm down.
BRIAN
I want you to turn me into a werewolf.
PROFESSOR
Brian, I-I don't know where you –
BRIAN
You don't know? Really? [He puts the camera down on the desk.] Well, how about I, uh... [he takes out a knife] ...cut you with this.
PROFESSOR
Brian, listen to me.
BRIAN
This thing's made of silver, you know.
BRIAN pushes the PROFESSOR into a chair and leans over him with the knife.
PROFESSOR
Look, I'm not – please, I'm not what you think that I am.
BRIAN
I don't care what you are. I just want you to turn me.
We hear the sound of the PROFESSOR transforming.
PROFESSOR
[growling] I don't want to hurt you.
BRIAN
You're not going to, 'cause if you do, all of this winds up on CNN.
CUT TO:
BRIAN puts the knife down on the desk and picks up his camera. The PROFESSOR is sitting on the other side of the desk.
BRIAN
So, you stumbled on Carter, wolfed out, and then what? Got a taste for hearts again?
PROFESSOR
You never lose the taste, if you're stupid enough to have one. Once you have a human heart, it's almost impossible to control the monster inside. But I did, until last week when I, uh... fell off the wagon, as they say. You have no idea – no idea – how hard it is. I've trained myself not to hurt anyone. I have – I have trained myself to... choke down those other hearts.
BRIAN
Animal hearts.
PROFESSOR
And I have been clean...
BRIAN
Until last week?
PROFESSOR
And then I saw Carter alone, and he was... he looked so weak. It's harder to cover things up nowadays. I knew a hunter would catch wind of this sooner or later.
BRIAN
They did. They're here. [He is no longer filming with the hand-held camera.] You needed a patsy. Michael.
PROFESSOR
Yes. The young man who sleeps through most of my lectures. I mean, who would miss him?
BRIAN
Me.
PROFESSOR
Why are you doing this?
BRIAN
I want to see what you guys see... do what you do. I'm sick of being Piggy. I want to be Ralph.
PROFESSOR
We don't get to choose who we are.
BRIAN pushes up his sleeve to reveal a bloodstained bandage. He removes the bandage, which was covering a bite.
BRIAN
I did.
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
KATE
Oh, my God.
MICHAEL
Brian.
KATE
Oh, my God.
MICHAEL
What are you? Insane?
BRIAN
You're welcome for saving your ass. Look, watch.
BRIAN plays footage from the PROFESSOR’s office on the computer. The PROFESSOR growls and throws a chair. He holds his hands to his head and then reaches up to remove the hidden camera from the cupboard. The screen goes mostly black.
DEAN
Hey!
SAM and DEAN throw the PROFESSOR onto and over his desk. SAM has a large knife in his belt. The PROFESSOR gets up and wolfs out. SAM lunges at the PROFESSOR with his knife and the PROFESSOR grapples with him. DEAN shoots the PROFESSOR.
PROFESSOR
Thank you.
The PROFESSOR falls to the floor dead.
DEAN
I've never killed a pureblood before.
SAM
What was he looking at? [They walk towards the cupboard with the hidden camera.] What the hell? [The screen goes gray and the footage ends.]
BRIAN
See? [He snaps his fingers.] Problem solved. They killed the pureblood, they're moving on, and we're in the clear, just like you said.
KATE
I never said –
BRIAN
Kate, I, uh... I did this to protect you. I did what you couldn't.
MICHAEL
They saw the camera, Brian. You don't think they'll trace that back to you? What the hell's wrong with you?
BRIAN
Nothing's wrong with me. [He picks up his camera and films MICHAEL.] You told me that. I just... finally figured out what I want, and now I'm going after it. You thought I was hiding behind this? I was hiding behind you. I am done living in your shadow. I've always lived in your shadow. But now – now we're equals. Anything you can do, right?
MICHAEL
What? You think this is a game? Do you have any idea what you've done to yourself?
BRIAN
Well, you wouldn't bite me, so I had to –
KATE
You asked him to? [to MICHAEL] He asked you to bite him?
MICHAEL
I didn't, okay? [to BRIAN] I didn't want to hurt you. I would never hurt you, Brian. [BRIAN laughs.] This thing inside of me – you don't want this.
BRIAN
Oh, well, it's too late for that now.
MICHAEL
I remember attacking Scott. I remember ripping his beating heart out of his chest. I remember the look in his dead eyes when I bit into that heart, Brian. And above all, I remember how sweet, how delicious it tasted, and ever since I've tasted it, I've felt more powerful and more out of control.
BRIAN grabs KATE.
BRIAN
More weak. You don't need someone like Michael. You need someone that can take care of you.
KATE
I can take care of myself.
BRIAN holds KATE in front of him.
MICHAEL
Let her go.
BRIAN
Or what? You gonna cry some more?
MICHAEL wolfs out and lunges for BRIAN as KATE screams.
KATE
No! No!
MICHAEL and BRIAN fight. MICHAEL pushes KATE back when she tries to intervene. MICHAEL and BRIAN crash through the glass doors to the bedroom and then come back into the main room. MICHAEL kneels over BRIAN and knocks him against the floor. BRIAN yells. MICHAEL rolls onto his back with a knife in his stomach.
KATE
Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh, please don't die. Please don't die. Please don't die.
MICHAEL
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
BRIAN crawls to a corner of the room.
MICHAEL
I love you, baby.
KATE
I love you.
MICHAEL goes still.
KATE
Michael? Michael!
ACT FOUR
INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT
KATE is crying over MICHAEL’s body. She pulls out the knife in his stomach and crosses the room to where BRIAN is sitting against a wall. She slashes at his arm with the knife. BRIAN grabs KATE’s wrist and holds her still.
BRIAN
Kate, listen to me. I love you. I love you. You'll understand. You just need to see what I see. After I bite you, you'll understand.
KATE cuts BRIAN, breaks away from his grip and runs into the kitchen. BRIAN, wolfed out, is waiting for her there. She screams and runs back into the main room. BRIAN is waiting for her there also and catches her in his arms. He picks her up and growls.
CUT TO:
KATE is looking at herself in the cracked bathroom mirror and crying. BRIAN knocks on the door.
BRIAN
Kate? [KATE is filming herself with a camera.] Let me in.
KATE has a bite mark on her shoulder.
BRIAN
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. [KATE’s bite mark heals as she watches it in the mirror.] We can fix this. We can... [BRIAN knocks again.] Just let me in, okay?
KATE screams and pushes out the shower screen, throws things and breaks the sink. She then stops screaming, picks up her camera and films herself looking in the mirror. She smiles.
KATE
Brian? Brian, I'm coming out. I see it now. I understand.
KATE opens the door. BRIAN is waiting on the other side.
BRIAN
I told you it would be all right.
KATE
Yeah. It will be. Here.
KATE hands BRIAN the camera. As he films her, she smiles and looks down, then looks up again with a growl as she wolfs out. She lunges at BRIAN and the camera swings wildly.
BRIAN
No, no!
There is a loud roar as blood splatters the walls.
CUT TO:
A bloodstained KATE is crying over MICHAEL’s body.
CUT TO:
KATE covers MICHAEL’s body with a sheet.
CUT TO:
KATE, now clean, types on the computer keyboard and speaks into a camera.
KATE
I didn't finish Brian's movie to justify what happened. To be totally honest, I'm not really even sure if I understand it at all. I just wanted you to know that – that Michael wasn't always a monster. None of us were.
We see footage from MICHAEL and BRIAN’s first meeting with KATE in the café and other early scenes from the episode.
KATE’S VOICE ON FILM
Five years from now? Hopefully passed the bar exam, practicing law. Nothing corporate, something green, you know?
BRIAN’S VOICE ON FILM
Oh, geez. Uh, maybe, like, working for HBO or – or, like, Michael Moore. That'd be cool.
MICHAEL’S VOICE ON FILM
I will be on a boat in the middle of the ocean with my beautiful girl by my side.
KATE’S VOICE ON FILM
Aww.
We return to KATE speaking into the camera.
♪ What's the matter? ♪
♪ what's the matter with you lately? ♪
KATE
I'm leaving. And you'll never hear from me ever again. Look, I know that there's another way. I can eat animal hearts. [A tear rolls down her face.] I've never hurt anyone. Nobody human, anyway. I didn't choose this. Please... please give me a chance.
The camera pans out and we see that KATE is speaking on the film she left for SAM and DEAN on the laptop. They sit silently for a few moments after the film ends.
ACT FIVE
INT. – HOUSE – DAY
[The credits play.]
DEAN
Okay, so, uh... this... [he looks under the sheet] – yeah – is Michael, which means that that is...
SAM
Brian Wilcox, our friendly neighborhood cameraman.
DEAN
Right.
SAM
Mm. [He sighs.] All right, so... [He looks at his watch.] What, she's got about a half-day jump on us?
DEAN
[quietly] Mm-hmm.
SAM
You all right?
DEAN
[quietly] Mm-hmm.
SAM
Look, Kate's right. She hasn't hurt anybody – well, anybody human at least.
DEAN
Yeah, she didn't – she didn't choose this. Let's give her a shot.
SAM
Seriously?
DEAN
Yeah, yeah.
SAM
And, look, if Kate pops back up, I mean, if she strays, then no questions asked. [He unplugs the hard drive and laptop on the desk and picks them up.] We do what we got to do and, um, we take her down.
DEAN
Hey, Sam?
SAM
Yeah?
DEAN
Do I really say "awesome" a lot?
SAM
No. No, no. No. [He heads for the door.]
DEAN
Mm. [He follow SAM and clears his throat.] Huh. [He pauses to look at a picture of KATE pinned on a board on the wall.] Awesome.
SAM smiles and goes out the door. DEAN puts the iPod back into the docking station before he follows.
♪ ...with you lately? ♪
♪ What's the matter? ♪
EXT. – OUTSKIRTS OF A TOWN – DAY
KATE stands next to train tracks. A small backpack is on the ground next to her. A large truck crosses the tracks and drives away.
♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪
KATE picks up the backpack and waves to the truck driver.
♪ Dreamer, you will waste your time ♪
KATE walks down the train tracks into the setting sun.
♪ Do you ever wonder why we go on and on and on? ♪
♪ Love is gone and gone and gone ♪
♪ What's the matter? ♪
♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪
END
Source : SuperWiki