(FADE IN: Richardson, Texas. Two Months Ago. A group of teenagers, three boys and one girl, are walking through the forest.)
BOY 1: Come on, man, is it much further? I’m really cold.
CRAIG: It should be just up here. (They walk a bit further and reach a clearing.)
GIRL: Whoa.
CRAIG: There we go.
BOY 1: How’d you find this place anyway, Thurston? (They are looking at a large, abandoned house.)
CRAIG: My cousin told me about it.
GIRL: Oh, I am so not going in there.
BOY 1: Wusses.
CRAIG: Well, we came all the way out here. Might as well check it out.
BOY 1: Let’s just hurry this up and get back to the car, all right? It’s friggin’ cold out here. (He and CRAIG walk towards the house. The girl and second boy stay behind.)
BOY 2: Want me to hold your hand? (He offers his hand to her. She takes it and they start walking.) Are there any other parts I can hold? (She gives him a disgusted look and lets go of his hand.)
GIRL: Ew, shut up, you loser! (She pushes him and walks away.)
BOY 2: Oh, come on! What? (He follows after her.)
(CUT TO: INT. – House. The four teenagers enter and look around. There is a pentagram drawn on the floor, along with various symbols on the walls.)
BOY 2: No way. Look at all this stuff.
CRAIG: Come on. It’s this way. (He leads the group into another room.) They say that he lives in a root cellar. Goes after girls—always girls. Just strings ‘em up.
BOY 1: They say? Who’s they? Where’d you hear this crap?
CRAIG: I told you, my cousin.
BOY 1: And where’d she hear it?
CRAIG: I don’t know. She just heard it.
BOY 1: Whatever. (He takes the flashlight from CRAIG.) Give me that thing. (He opens another door and leads the rest of the kids down a flight of stairs.)
(CUT TO: Cellar.)
BOY 1: Oh, look—it’s the evil root cellar. You know, where Satan cans all his vegetables. Oh, get your candy-asses down here and see for yourselves. It’s just a basement full of skank-filled jars in some crap farmhouse. (The other three teenagers come downstairs and look around.) I don’t see anything scary. Do you? (He laughs. The three of them stop and stare, frightened, at something behind the boy. His smile fades.) What? What? What is it? (He turns around and sees a young woman, hanging from the rafters. He screams. The screen goes black.)
(FADE IN: Interstate 35. Present Day. DEAN is driving with SAM. DEAN sees that SAM is asleep. He picks up a plastic spoon and sticks it in SAM’s mouth. He does not wake up. DEAN takes out his cell phone and snaps a photo of SAM. He laughs and turns up the volume in the car, blasting the music.)
DEAN: (singing along) A fire of unknown origin took my baby away! (SAM bursts awake and sits up, spitting out the spoon. DEAN drums his hands on the steering wheel along with the music. SAM turns down the volume.)
SAM: Haha, very funny. (DEAN chuckles.)
DEAN: Sorry. Not a lot of scenery here in east Texas, you kind of gotta make your own. (He laughs.)
SAM: Man, we’re not kids anymore, Dean. We’re not gonna start that crap up again.
DEAN: Start what up?
SAM: That prank stuff—it’s stupid, and it always escalates.
DEAN: Oh, what’s the matter, Sammy, you afraid you’re gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh? (He smiles.)
SAM: All right. Just remember, you started it.
DEAN: Oh, bring it on, Baldy.
SAM: Where are we, anyway?
DEAN: Few hours outside of Richardson. Give me the lowdown again. (SAM picks up a piece of paper from the dashboard.)
SAM: All right, about a month or two ago, this group of kids goes pokin’ around in this local haunted house.
DEAN: Haunted by what?
SAM: Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit. Legend goes, it takes girls and strings 'em up in the rafters. Anyway, this group of kids see this dead girl hangin’ in the cellar.
DEAN: Anybody ID the corpse?
SAM: Well, that’s the thing. By the time the cops got there, the body was gone. So, cops are sayin’ the kids were just yankin’ chains.
DEAN: Well, maybe the cops are right.
SAM: Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids’ firsthand accounts. They seem pretty sincere.
DEAN: Where’d you read these accounts?
SAM: (hesitantly) Well, I knew we were gonna be passing through Texas. So, uh, last night I searched some local….paranormal websites. (DEAN rolls his eyes.) And I found one.
DEAN: And what’s it called? (SAM is reluctant.)
SAM: Hell Hound’s Lair dot com.
DEAN: Let me guess, streaming live out of Mom’s basement. (SAM laughs.)
SAM: Yeah, probably.
DEAN: Yeah, most of those websites wouldn’t know a ghost if it bit ‘em in the persqueeter.
SAM: Look, we let Dad take off, which was a mistake, by the way. And now, we don’t know where the hell he is, so, in the meantime, we’ve got to find ourselves something to hunt. There’s no harm checkin’ this thing out.
DEAN: All right. So, where do we find these kids?
SAM: Same place you always find kids in a town like this.
(CUT TO: Rodeo Drive-In. At different places in the restaurant, each teenager tells SAM and DEAN their version of the story.)
BOY 1: It was the scariest thing I ever saw in my life. I swear to God.
BOY 2: From the moment we walked in. The walls were painted black—
BOY 1: Red—
GIRL: I think it was blood.
BOY 1: With all these freaky symbols.
BOY 2: Crosses and stars—
BOY 1: And pentagons—
BOY 2: Pentecostals.
GIRL: Whatever. I had my eyes closed the whole time.
BOY 1: But I can damn sure tell you this much, no matter what anybody else says.
GIRL: That poor girl.
BOY 2: With the black—
BOY 1: Blonde—
GIRL: Red hair, just hanging there.
BOY 1: Kicking—
BOY 2: Without even moving.
GIRL: She was real.
BOY 1: A hundred percent.
BOY 2: And kinda hot. Well, you know, in a dead sort of way.
DEAN: Okay, uh….(He looks at SAM, who is also confused.)
SAM: And how’d you find out about this place, anyway?
BOY 2 and GIRL: Craig.
BOY 1: Craig took us.
(CUT TO: INT. – Record Store. DEAN and SAM enter and walk over to CRAIG.)
CRAIG: Gentlemen, can I help you with anything?
SAM: Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?
CRAIG: I am.
DEAN: Well, we’re reporters with the Dallas Morning News. I’m Dean, this is Sam.
CRAIG: No way. Yeah, I’m a writer, too. I write for my school’s lit magazine.
DEAN: Oh, good for you, Morrison.
SAM: We’re doing an article on local hauntings, and rumor has it you might know about one.
CRAIG: You mean the Hell House?
DEAN: That’s the one.
CRAIG: I didn’t think there was anything to the story.
SAM: Why don’t you tell us the story?
CRAIG: Well, supposedly, back in the thirties, this farmer, Mordechai Murdoch, used to live in the house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression. His crops were failing. He didn’t have enough money to even feed his own children. So, I guess that’s when he went off the deep end.
SAM: How?
CRAIG: Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick rather than starve to death. So he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop. But he just strung them up, one after another. And then, when he was all finished, he turned around and hung himself. Now, they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringin’ up any other girl who goes inside.
DEAN: But where’d you hear all this?
CRAIG: My cousin, Dana, told me. I don’t know where she heard it from. You’ve gotta realize I didn’t believe this for a second.
SAM: But now you do?
CRAIG: I don’t know what the hell to think, man. Guys, I’ll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real, and she was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don’t wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, okay? (SAM and DEAN exchange a look.)
DEAN: Thanks. (They leave.)
(CUT TO: EXT. – Hell House. DEAN and SAM are walking to the building.)
SAM: Can’t say I blame the kid.
DEAN: Yeah, so much for curb appeal. (SAM laughs.)
(CUT TO: Side of the Building. DEAN is holding the EMF meter, which starts beeping.)
SAM: You got somethin’?
DEAN: Yeah. The EMF’s no good.
SAM: Why? (DEAN nods towards a nearby telephone pole.)
DEAN: I think that thing’s still got a little juice in it. It’s screwin’ with all the readings.
SAM: Yeah, that’d do it.
DEAN: Yep. Come on, let’s go. (They enter the house.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Hell House. DEAN and SAM enter and look around.)
DEAN: (noticing the symbols on the wall) Looks like Old Man Murdoch was a bit of a tagger during his time.
SAM: And after his time, too. The reversed cross has been used by Satanists for centuries, but this sigil of sulfur didn’t show up in San Francisco until the sixties. (DEAN looks at him strangely.)
DEAN: This is exactly why you never get laid. (He goes to look at another symbol.) Hey, what about this one? You seen this one before? (SAM walks over to DEAN and takes a picture of the symbol with his phone.)
SAM: No.
DEAN: (thoughtfully) I have. Somewhere. (SAM runs his finger along the symbol.)
SAM: It’s paint. Seems pretty fresh, too.
DEAN: I don’t know, Sam. I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but the cops might be right about this one.
SAM: Yeah, maybe. (They hear a noise coming from another room. They turn and move towards the door. They crash through it and see two computer geeks, ED and HARRY, standing in front of them. ED and HARRY are carrying flashlights, along with other video equipment.)
ED: Cut! Just a couple humans. What are you guys doing here?
DEAN: What the hell are you doin’ here?
ED: Uh, we belong here. We’re professionals.
DEAN: Professional what?
ED: Paranormal investigators. (He takes out two business cards and hands them to SAM and DEAN.) There ya go. Take a look at that, boys. (They read the cards.)
DEAN: Oh, you’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.
SAM: Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler. Hell Hound’s Lair dot com, you guys run that website.
ED: Yeah.
DEAN: Oh, yeah. Yeah, we’re huge fans. (He moves to another area of the room.)
ED: And, uh, we know who you guys are, too. (SAM and DEAN look nervous.)
SAM: Oh, yeah?
ED: Amateurs. (SAM and DEAN relax.) Lookin’ for ghosts and cheap thrills.
HARRY: Yeah. So, if you guys don’t mind, we’re trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here.
ED: Mmhmm.
DEAN: Yeah? What do you got so far?
ED: Uh, Harry, why don’t you tell ‘em about EMF?
SAM: EMF?
HARRY: (matter-of-factly) Electromagnetic field. (He walks over to his bag and removes an EMF meter.) Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector, like this bad boy right here. (The EMF detector starts buzzing.) Whoa, whoa. That’s 2.8 MG.
ED: 2.8.
HARRY: It’s hot in here.
SAM: Wow.
DEAN: Huh. So, have you guys ever really seen a ghost before, or—?
ED: Once. We were, uh—we were investigating this old house, and we saw a vase fall right off the table.
HARRY: By itself.
ED: Well, we didn’t actually see it, but we heard it. (DEAN shakes his head in shame.) And something like that, it, uh—it changes you. (SAM pretends to be riveted.)
DEAN: Yeah. I think I get the picture. We should go—let them get back to work. (He walks over to SAM and grins.)
HARRY: Yeah, you should.
DEAN: Sam?
ED: Yeah, work. (He laughs as SAM and DEAN leave.) I’m sorry. That pot we smoked gave me the giggles. Woo! (He walks away.)
(CUT TO: EXT. – Collin County Public Library. SAM leaves the building holding some research and meets DEAN outside.)
SAM: Hey.
DEAN: Hey. What do you got? (They start walking back to the car.)
SAM: Well, I couldn’t find a Mordechai, but I did turn up a Martin Murdoch who lived in that house in the thirties. He did have children, but only two of ‘em—both boys. And there was no record he ever killed anybody.
DEAN: Huh.
SAM: What about you?
DEAN: Well, those kids didn’t really give us a clear description of that dead girl, but I did hit up the police station. No matching missing persons—it’s like she never existed. (They reach the car.) Dude, come on, man. We did our digging, this one’s a bust, all right? For all we know, those Hell Hound boys made up the whole thing.
SAM: (reluctantly) Yeah, all right.
DEAN: So, I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers, and leave the legend to the locals. (He gets in the car. SAM remains outside, smirking, while DEAN starts the car. When he turns it on, fast-paced music blasts from the speakers, and the windshield wipers start to move back and forth. DEAN jumps and rushes to turn everything off. SAM gets in the car, laughing.) What the—? (SAM licks his finger and draws a number one in the air, then points to himself and mouths, “Me?”) That’s all you got? That’s weak. That is Bush-league. (SAM continues to laugh as they drive away.)
(CUT TO: EXT. – Hell House. Night. A group of three teenagers is outside the house.)
BOY: This is it. The point of no return.
JILL: Why do I have to go in there?
GIRL: Because, Jill, you chose dare instead of truth. Which means you either have to go grab a jar from Mordechai’s cellar and bring it back, or—?
BOY: Or you can make out with me. (He smirks.)
JILL: I’ll take the homicidal ghost, thanks. (She takes the flashlight from him and enters the house.)
BOY: Would you ever take that dare?
GIRL: Hell, no.
(CUT TO: INT. – Hell House. JILL enters the house and looks around. She hears a loud noise come from another room.)
JILL: Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? (No one replies. JILL continues to look around and makes her way to the cellar.)
(CUT TO: Cellar. JILL walks downstairs and observes the jars on the shelves. She takes a jar from the shelf, but hears a noise and drops it, causing the jar to shatter. Frantically, she looks around. When she turns around, she sees Mordechai Murdoch standing before her. She screams as he ties a noose around her neck and begins to hang her in the rafters. Her glasses fall off, but Mordechai crushes them. She continues to scream and choke until she dies completely. The screen goes black.)
(FADE IN: EXT. – Hell House. Morning. Ambulances and sheriffs are surrounding the building. JILL’s body is being carried out of the house in a body bag. DEAN and SAM walk up to an onlooker.)
DEAN: What happened?
MAN: Couple of cops say that poor girl hung herself in the house.
SAM: Suicide?
MAN: Yeah. But she was a straight-A student, with a full ride to UT, too. It just don’t make sense. (He walks away.)
SAM: What do you think? (They watch the body bag get placed into the ambulance on a stretcher.)
DEAN: I think maybe we missed somethin’.
(FADE TO: EXT. – Hell House. Night. Sheriffs are still guarding the house. DEAN and SAM are watching the building from behind some trees.)
SAM: I guess the cops don’t want anymore kids screwin’ around in there.
DEAN: Yeah, but we still gotta get in there. (He hears people whispering. He turns to look at something.) I don’t believe it. (SAM turns around and sees ED and HARRY walking towards the house with all their equipment.) I got an idea. (He stands up behind the trees and begins to shout.) Who ya gonna call?
SHERIFF: (to ED and HARRY) Hey! You! (Two sheriffs begin to chase after them. While they are running, DEAN and SAM manage to slip past them and get in the house.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Hell House. DEAN and SAM enter and get out their weapons.)
DEAN: Man, where have I seen that symbol before? It’s killin’ me!
SAM: Come on, we don’t have much time.
(CUT TO: Cellar. DEAN and SAM come downstairs and look around. DEAN picks up a jar from the shelf.)
DEAN: Hey, Sam, I dare you to take a swig of this.
SAM: What the hell would I do that for? (DEAN is silent for a moment.)
DEAN: I double-dare you. (SAM shakes his head. They hear a noise from another area of the room. DEAN puts the jar down and gets his weapon ready. They walk over to a cabinet. DEAN motions for SAM to open the door. SAM opens it and several rats scurry onto the floor.)
DEAN: Ugh, I hate rats.
SAM: You’d rather it was a ghost?
DEAN: Yes. (They turn and see Mordechai standing behind them with an axe. SAM quickly shoots Mordechai a few times. He dissolves into a cloud of smoke.)
SAM: What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rock salt?
DEAN: I don’t know. Come on, come on, come on. (Mordechai reappears and begins smashing all the shelves. He tries to swing at SAM, but SAM holds up his rifle to stop the axe from hitting him.)
SAM: Go! Get out of here! (He and DEAN manage to get away from Mordechai and run back upstairs.)
(CUT TO: EXT. – Hell House. ED and HARRY are looking around outside.)
HARRY: Maybe we should just go.
ED: No. Would John Edward go? Now, we’ve lost the cops, let’s find our center, and get some work done, okay? (HARRY nods.) All right. (A second later, DEAN and SAM come running out of the house. ED and HARRY focus their cameras on them.)
DEAN: Get that damn thing out of my face! (He and SAM run past them. Mordechai shows up in the front doorway.)
HARRY: Sweet Lord of the Rings—run! (They start to run away, but the sheriffs stop them.) But there’s a—with an axe—where’d he go? (Mordechai has vanished from the doorway.)
SHERIFF: Boys, come on. (They lean up against the police car.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Motel Room. While SAM does more research on the computer, DEAN is lying on the bed, drawing the symbol from the house on a notepad.)
DEAN: What the hell is this symbol? It’s buggin’ the hell outta me. This whole damn job is buggin’ me. I thought the legend said that Mordechai only goes after chicks.
SAM: He does.
DEAN: Right. Well, then that explains why he went after you, but why me?
SAM: Hilarious. The legend also says he hung himself, but you see those slit wrists?
DEAN: Yeah.
SAM: What’s up with that? And the axe, too. I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over?
DEAN: But his mood keeps changin’.
SAM: Exactly. (He logs onto the Hell Hounds’ website.) I’m tellin’ you, the way the story goes—wait a minute.
DEAN: What?
SAM: Someone added a new post into the Hell Hounds’ site. Listen to this. (He starts reading the post.) They say Mordechai Murdoch was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an axe before slitting his own wrists. Now he’s imprisoned in the house for eternity. (DEAN keeps studying the symbol, then suddenly sits up, seeming to realize something.) Where the hell is this going?
DEAN: I don’t know, but I think I might have just figured out where it all started. (He smiles at SAM and gets off the bed.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Record Store. CRAIG is sitting at the cash register, looking frustrated and upset. He gets up and starts to walk away. DEAN and SAM enter.)
DEAN: Hey, Craig. Remember us? (CRAIG turns around.)
CRAIG: Guys, I’m really not in the mood to answer anymore of your questions, okay?
DEAN: Oh, don’t worry, we’re just here to buy an album, that’s all. (CRAIG turns away. DEAN looks through some albums and finally chooses one. HE and SAM walk over to CRAIG.) You know, I couldn’t figure out what that symbol was, and then I realized, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s a logo for Blue Oyster Cult. (CRAIG turns to face them, looking guilty.) So, tell me, Craig—are you into BOC? Or just scarin’ the hell outta people? (He hands the album to CRAIG, who flips it over and sees the symbol.) So, why don’t you tell us about that house without lyin’ through your ass this time. (CRAIG sighs.)
CRAIG: All right, um—my cousin, Dana, was on break from TCU, and I guess we were just bored, lookin’ for something to do, so I showed her this abandoned dump I found. (As he continues to talk, flashbacks show CRAIG and DANA in the house. They are nailing objects to the walls, as well as painting symbols on the floors and walls. Later, DANA puts on makeup and CRAIG puts a noose around her neck. She jokingly pretends to choke, and they laugh. End Flashback.) We thought it’d be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So, we painted symbols on the walls—some from some albums, and some from some of Dana’s theology textbooks. And then we found out this guy Murdoch used to live there, so we made up some story to go along with that. So, they told people, who told other people, and then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just took on a life of its own. I mean, I thought it was funny at first, but….now that girl’s dead. (He starts to cry.) It was just a joke, you know, I mean—none of it was real, we made the whole thing up, I swear. (He wipes his tears.)
DEAN: All right. (He and SAM start to leave. DEAN leans in closer to SAM so that CRAIG will not hear them.) If none of it was real, then how the hell do you explain Mordechai? (They leave. The screen goes black.)
(FADE IN: INT. – Motel Room. DEAN enters the room and closes the door behind him. While SAM is in the shower, DEAN takes out a packet of itching powder and begins to pour it over SAM’s clothes.)
DEAN: Hey, I’m back.
SAM: Hey. Where were you? (He turns the water off in the bathroom.)
DEAN: Oh, I went out.
SAM: So, I think I might have a theory about what’s goin’ on.
DEAN: Oh, yeah?
SAM: Yeah. What if Mordechai is a tulpa?
DEAN: A tulpa? (SAM comes out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. DEAN jumps and hides the powder.)
SAM: Yeah, a Tibetan thought form.
DEAN: Yeah, I know what a tulpa is. Hey, why don’t you get dressed? We’ll go grab somethin’ to eat. (He smiles and goes into the bathroom. SAM walks over to the bed and grabs his clothes.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Restaurant. DEAN and SAM get their food and go to sit down. SAM shifts uncomfortably and tries to scratch himself. DEAN smirks.)
DEAN: Hey, what’s your problem?
SAM: Nothing. I’m fine. (They sit down at their table.)
DEAN: Yeah?
SAM: Yeah.
DEAN: All right, so, keep goin’, what about these tulpas?
SAM: Okay, uh, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. A group of monks visualized a golem in their heads. They meditate on it so hard, they bring the thing to life—out of thin air.
DEAN: So?
SAM: That was twenty monks. Imagine what ten thousand web surfers could do. I mean, Craig starts a story about Mordechai, and it spreads, goes online. Now there are countless people all believing in the bastard.
DEAN: Okay, wait a second. You’re trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he’s real? (SAM shifts uncomfortably again.)
SAM: I don’t know, maybe.
DEAN: People believe in Santa Claus. How come I’m not gettin’ hooked up every Christmas?
SAM: ‘Cause you’re a bad person. (He types something on the computer.) And because of this. (He turns the computer to DEAN. On the monitor is a picture of another symbol on the wall of the house.) That’s a Tibetan spirit sigil on the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet you they painted this not even knowing what it was. Now, that sigil has been used for centuries—concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So, people are on the Hell Hounds’ website, starin’ at the symbol, thinkin’ about Mordechai—I mean, I don’t know. But it might be enough to bring a tulpa to life.
DEAN: It would explain why he keeps changin’.
SAM: Right. As the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes, like a game of telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn’t work.
DEAN: Yeah, ‘cause he’s not a traditional spirit, per se.
SAM: (scratching himself) Yeah.
DEAN: Okay, so, uh, why don’t we just get this spirit sigil thingy off the wall and off the website?
SAM: Well, it’s not that simple. You see, once tulpas are created, they take on a life of their own.
DEAN: Great. All right, so, if he really is a thought form, how the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?
SAM: Well, it’s not gonna be easy with these guys helping us. Check out their homepage. (The video on the website shows the events from the previous night at the house.) Since they posted the video, the number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone.
DEAN: Huh. I got an idea. Come on. (SAM shuts the laptop and gathers his things.)
SAM: Where are we going?
DEAN: I gotta find a copy store.
SAM: Man, I think I’m allergic to our soap or somethin’. (DEAN laughs and starts to walk away.) You did this? (DEAN laughs again.) You’re a friggin’ jerk.
DEAN: Oh, yeah! (SAM takes his bag and coffee and leaves.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Trailer. ED and HARRY are inside, working on their website.)
HARRY: No, no, no. No, forget it. Forget it, I’m not going back in there again.
ED: Harry, look at me. Right here, okay? (HARRY looks at him.) You are a ghost hunter, okay?
HARRY: I know, but, Ed, I’ve never actually seen a real ghost before, like a real ghost, it’s like an apparition!
ED: This stuff right here—this is our ticket to the big time. Fame, money, sex. With girls, okay? Be brave. Okay, WWBD. What would Buffy do? Huh?
HARRY: What would Buffy do? I don't know, but, Ed, she’s stronger than me.
ED: It’s okay. (There is a loud knocking on the door of the trailer.)
HARRY: Who is it?
DEAN: (OS) Come on out here, guys, we hear you in there.
ED: It’s them. (They open the door and see SAM and DEAN.)
DEAN: Oh, look at that. Action figures in their original packaging. What a shocker.
SAM: Guys, we need to talk.
ED: Yeah, um, sorry, guys. We’re, uh—we’re a little bit busy right now.
DEAN: Okay, well, we’ll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website. (ED laughs.)
ED: (to HARRY) Man, you know, these guys get us busted last night, we spend the night in a holding cell.
HARRY: I had to pee in that cell urinal in front of people. And I get stage fright.
ED: Why should we trust you guys?
SAM: Look, guys, we all know what we saw last night, what’s in the house. But now, thanks to your website, there are thousands of people hearin’ about Mordechai.
DEAN: That’s right, which means people are gonna keep showin’ up at the Hell House, runnin’ into him in person—somebody could get hurt.
ED: Yeah.
HARRY: Ed, maybe he’s got a point.
ED: No, no.
HARRY: Nope.
ED: Okay, we have an obligation to our fans, to the truth.
DEAN: Well, I have an obligation to kick both your little asses right now—
SAM: Dean, Dean, hey, hey. Forget it, all right? These guys—I could probably bitch-slap them both. I could probably even tell ‘em that thing about Mordechai – (ED and HARRY suddenly look very interested.) – but they’re still not gonna help us. So, let’s just go.
DEAN: Yeah, you’re right. (They walk away. ED and HARRY start following them.)
ED: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What did you say about—? Hold on a second here.
HARRY: Wait, wait. Yeah, what thing about Mordechai, you guys?
DEAN: Don’t tell ‘em, Sam.
SAM: But if they agree to shut their website down, Dean—
DEAN: They’re not gonna do it. You said so yourself.
ED: No, wait, wait. Don’t listen to him, okay? We’ll do it. (DEAN and SAM stop walking and turn to face them.) We’ll do it.
DEAN: It’s a secret, Sam.
SAM: Look, it is a pretty big deal, all right? And it wasn’t easy to dig up. So, only if we have your word that you’ll shut everything down.
ED: Totally.
SAM: All right. (DEAN takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to them.) It’s a death certificate from the thirties. We got it at the library. Now, according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
DEAN: That’s right, he didn’t hang or cut himself.
HARRY: He shot himself?
SAM: Yup. With a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he’s terrified of ‘em.
DEAN: Yeah, as a matter of fact, they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds, you could kill the son of a bitch. (ED and HARRY smile. HARRY runs back to the trailer while ED walks behind him.)
(CUT TO: INT. – Restaurant. SAM and DEAN are eating at a booth. On the wall next to them, mounted on a piece of wood, is a painted wooden fisherman holding a fish in his hands. DEAN pulls the string under the piece of wood, and the fisherman begins to laugh. SAM pulls the string to stop the sound.)
SAM: If you pull that string one more time, I’m gonna kill you. (DEAN pulls the string again, but SAM stops the laughing again. DEAN laughs.)
DEAN: Come on, man. You need more laughter in your life, you know, you’re way too tense. (SAM takes a sip of beer and says nothing.) They post it yet? (SAM turns the computer to DEAN, who begins reading.) “We have learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdoch has a fatal fear of firearms.” All right. How long do we wait? (SAM closes the laptop.)
SAM: Long enough for the new story to spread and the legend to change. I figure by nightfall, iron rounds will work on the sucker. (He holds up his beer bottle.)
DEAN: Sweet. (He taps his bottle against SAM’s and takes a drink. SAM smirks. When DEAN goes to put the bottle down, it is glued to his hand. SAM laughs.) You didn’t. (SAM holds up a bottle of superglue.)
SAM: Oh, I did. (DEAN is shocked. SAM pulls the string and the wooden fisherman begins to laugh. SAM also laughs as the screen goes black.)
(FADE IN: EXT. – Hell House. Two sheriffs are looking around in the trees.)
SHERIFF: I’m tellin’ ya, I heard something comin’ from over there. (Nearby, they can hear the laughing of the wooden fisherman from the restaurant wall.) See? There it is again. (They look around and finally see the wooden carving hanging from a tree.) What is that? What the—?
(CUT TO: INT. – Hell House. DEAN and SAM enter with guns and flashlights and look around.)
DEAN: I barely have any skin left on my palm.
SAM: I’m not touchin’ that line with a ten-foot pole. (DEAN shines his flashlight in SAM’s face. SAM grimaces, and they move into another room. They see the door leading into the cellar.)
DEAN: So, you think old Mordechai’s home?
SAM: I don’t know.
ED: Me neither. (DEAN and SAM turn and aim their guns at ED and HARRY. They jump and scream.) Whoa, whoa! Hey!
SAM: What are you tryin’ to do, get yourself killed?
ED: We’re just tryin’ to get a book and movie deal, okay? (They hear the sound of sharpening knives coming from behind the door.) Oh, crap. Uh, guys, you wanna go open that door for us?
DEAN: Why don’t you? (A moment later, Mordechai bursts through the door. SAM and DEAN shoot him several times, and he dissolves into a cloud of smoke. SAM and DEAN leave the room to look around.)
ED: (dumbfounded) Oh, he’s gone. He’s gone.
HARRY: Did you get him?
ED: Oh, yeah, they got him.
HARRY: No, on camera, did you get him on camera?
ED: Uh, I….(HARRY grabs the camera from him. Suddenly, Mordechai appears and destroys the camera with his axe. HARRY falls to the floor, and Mordechai disappears again. DEAN and SAM enter the room.)
DEAN: Hey. Didn’t you guys post that BS story we gave you?
ED: Of course we did.
HARRY: Yeah, but then our server crashed.
ED: Yeah.
DEAN: So, it didn’t take?
ED: Uh….
DEAN: So, these guns don’t work?
ED: Yeah.
DEAN: Great. Sam, any ideas? (SAM looks annoyed.)
HARRY: We are getting out of here.
ED: Yeah.
HARRY: Come on, Ed. (He grabs ED and they start to leave. When they reach the front door, Mordechai appears. They scream and run away. They stop at another locked door. Mordechai finds them, and they lean against the wall.) Mary and Joseph.
ED: The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you! (SAM enters.)
SAM: Hey! (Mordechai turns to him.) Come and get it, you ugly son of a bitch. (Mordechai swings at him, but SAM ducks and the axe hits the wall. Again, Mordechai swings. This time, he pins SAM against the wall with his axe and begins to choke him.) Get out of here! Now!
ED: Run!
HARRY: Yeah, we’re outta here. (He and ED leave. In another room, DEAN is pouring lighter fluid all over the floor. SAM continues to be choked.)
SAM: Dean! (DEAN enters.)
DEAN: Hey! (Mordechai looks at him. DEAN holds an aerosol can over a lighter, and it bursts into flame. Mordechai lets go of SAM, who falls to the floor.) Go, go, go! Come on. (He helps SAM up.) Look, if Mordechai can’t leave the house, and we can’t kill him, we improvise. (He lights the lighter and throws it on the floor. The room bursts into flame. SAM and DEAN leave the house. Mordechai follows them, but stops at the front door. DEAN and SAM run behind the nearby trees.)
SAM: That’s the solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground?
DEAN: Well, no one will go in anymore. I mean, look, Mordechai can’t haunt a house if there’s no house to haunt. It’s fast and dirty, but it works.
SAM: But, what if the legend changes again, and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?
DEAN: Well, then, we’ll just have to come back. (They are silent for a moment.)
SAM: Kind of makes you wonder—of all the things we’ve hunted, how many existed just ‘cause people believed in ‘em? (DEAN looks thoughtful as they watch the house go up in flames. The screen goes black.)
(FADE IN: Outside. DEAN and SAM are waiting for ED and HARRY.)
ED: Gentlemen.
SAM: Hey, guys. (They start walking together.)
HARRY: Should we tell ‘em?
ED: Oh, you might as well, you know they’re just gonna read about it in the trades.
HARRY: So, this morning, we got a phone call from a very important Hollywood producer.
DEAN: Oh, yeah? Wrong number?
ED: No, smartass. He read all about the Hell House on our website and wants to option the motion picture rights—maybe even have us write it.
HARRY: And create the RPG.
DEAN: The what?
HARRY: Role-playing game.
DEAN: Right.
ED: It’s a little lingo for ya. Any who, uh, excuse us, we’re off to La-La Land.
SAM: Well, congratulations, guys, that sounds really great.
DEAN: Yeah, that’s awesome. Best of luck to ya.
ED: Oh, yeah, luck—it’s got nothin’ to do with it. It’s about talent, you know? Sheer, unabashed, talent. (He gives them a peace sign.) Later. (He and Harry get in their car, which has their trailer attached to it.) See you around. (They drive away. SAM and DEAN laugh and start walking back to their car.)
DEAN: Wow.
SAM: I have a confession to make.
DEAN: What’s that?
SAM: I was the one who called them and told ‘em I was a producer. (They reach the car and laugh.)
DEAN: Well, I’m the one who put the dead fish in their backseat. (They laugh again.)
SAM: Truce?
DEAN: Yeah, truce. At least for the next hundred miles. (He grins and SAM sighs. They get in the car and drive away as the screen fades to black.)
THE END
Ecrit par kaylia.